artists and ascension

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“Peace goes into the making of a poem as flour goes into the making of bread.” Pablo Neruda

Many of us take to writing or reading poetry when nothing else will suffice.  Regular prose somehow doesn’t do it when we’re in a new place, or exploring a different place calling for some other kind of expression.  Perhaps we have the words but want a new rhythm or a new pattern.

Poetry comes at us from a different direction, sometimes many directions at once.  We go to poetry books to find different forms of expression when we feel at odds with where we are, or if there’s a new space that needs filling or a new place that needs understanding. Poetry comes at us from a different angle. We don’t expect it to make sense in the usual ways.

Poetry, when we give ourselves to it, has the ability to alter or enlarge our perceptions.

I am drawn to poems when I am on the edge of my old understanding, stepping across the divide into a new understanding.  And in this new understanding I don’t have the words yet.  And maybe I never will, because so often I feel in places that are beyond the logic of language.  And yet I have a need to put my thoughts into words, to commemorate them or share them or explore them or simply to chronicle them for myself.  The more I can put my thoughts into words the better I will see where I have been.

Often my paintings or my writing seem like bread crumbs left behind on my trail, so that I can find my way back if I go out too far.

Different parts of ourselves open up at different times, develop at different rates.  Sometimes we just need to run in place for a while, other times sprint ahead.  It’s those sprinting ahead times I’m talking about here.  Those transition times when I don’t want to use the same old language in the same old patterns.  And I’m looking for new patterns and rhythms that feel more like this new place I’m in.  It’s exciting and uncomfortable, exciting and stressful, to have a brain on fire, a brain about to burst.  So I look for words.  I look for something to put down, so I know that I AM.

What do you do?

Here is one of my favorite poems by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore –
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over –
Like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
Like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

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Tuesday March 9th – The Poetry of it All

Hello to all you folks out there in radio land…

I’m just writing to send you all my deepest apologies for being absent the last couple of weeks. It has been a fairly arduous fortnight, but i am returned now and ready for a marvellous March.

I don’t have much to say other than that really. Aside from that I am very much looking forward to being back on Tuesday and seeing you all once again.

Much Love my friends

Anton

Following on from Tuesday’s show, i have been literally a blur of creativity. I have started a new blog dedicated to my work with writing and making sense of deconstructed texts, i have been hard at work on a series of pieces i have tentatively titled “Portals”, with new additions being made as and when i can get my hands on scissors and glue, and on top of that, i have begun a process of “bringing together” my various selves and attempting to use their combined expertise in defined directions, rather than existing in the centre, with seven different agendas with arms dragging me here, there and everywhere.

As i was browsing through some of my favourites on youtube, i came across a playlist made by someone, of various selections of talks from Terence Mckenna. His views on Art are a huge inspiration to me, and i would highly recommend taking some time to explore his ideas. His notion that the Artist will be the saviour of humanity is particularly pertinent i feel. Then i heard him say these words…

“If the Artists cannot find the way, then there is no way to be found.”

Which immediately brought back to me something that we had been discussing on the show. The idea that Artists, whatever their craft or focus, whatever their intention or desire and whatever their level of experience or fame (or infamy) are the modern day equivalent of explorers. The world has been mapped and remapped, with small sections being adjusted and rediscovered every so often, and until we harness any sort of long term plan for mass space travel, the physical figure of the explorer and the adventurer, is out of date, to some extent. And so, because the world outside, so far as possible, has been mapped and recorded, the new explorers are the ones exploring the landscape of the inner world.

It was hinted at that one of the main roles of the Artist is, much like the classical explorer archetype, to journey to undiscovered regions and bring back something that demonstrates that this new place exists. Whether it be a map, a tale or an artefact. There must have been many nights spent in taverns and gentleman’s clubs,  men and women returned from far off climes brimming with demonstrations of dances, images, experiences, stories and songs. And in many ways, this is no different from the role that Artists play nowadays.

With this viewpoint, it is difficult to understand why the title of Artist has become something that only a select few feel they deserve. There is a still prevailing idea that to be able to present a piece that can be considered “Art” you must have studied for years at your craft, paid out thousands of pounds (or whatever your particular currency may be), starved for a few years and made a reputation for yourself as an artist, before your work has any merit. Even such subsets as writer or singer appear to have been hijacked by this sensibility, barring those with no “talent” from discovering their artistic potential. When in fact it is this “authentic”, unaffected, voice that is needed now more than ever.

It’s the reason that i never took guitar lessons. I wanted to play guitar my way. I didn’t want to learn the scales and play Bobby Shaftoe over and over again. I might never make it professionally as a guitarist, but that was never the point. I was doing it because i loved it. Guitar lessons always seemed to me to be a way of standardising the style and technique, and removing all trace of indiviuality. I may be completely wrong, but that’s how it seemed.

It is of course necessary to work at your chosen craft. There is no point in assuming that after completing three paintings you will have become a master. But it makes you no less a painter than Picasso. If you are devoting your energy to taking photographs of nature, then you are a photographer. If you love to write, you are a writer. Status and notoriety play no part in the equation.

Since each of us are completely individual, or can be if we wish to, whatever story we are telling and whatever medium we use, it is something that has never been done before or since. Every work that you create is a brand new, never before seen perspective and it can be nothing else. Two people writing about the details of a journey will describe the same scenery and the same events, but they will tell two different stories. There will be similarities but the pieces themselves will be different, because the people who wrote them are different.

As i have said before, the human mind is a filter. Each experience is taken in, compared against previous events, and put out into the world in whatever way is most comfortable for the Artist. And no two people have the same outlooks or banks of information from which to draw upon. So even when given a theme or a storyline, these two writers will not be able to write the exact same piece.

Essentially i feel that it is of utmost importance for all of us to take back this title of “Artist”. To claim it as our own, and put out our own stories in a medium that we feel passionately about. The child that cuts out pictures from catalogues and makes a collage is no less an Artist than the illustrator who sits at Hir easel putting their thoughts into pictures. Indeed, it is the role of the Artist to create their world,  however they see fit, by whatever means they desire, and to take this power away from each and every man and woman and child on the planet is a cruel and unusual punishment, meted out by those who wish to turn creativity into a commodity. It is time for this era of elitism and limited acceptance to end. Either we are all Artists, or none of us are.

So pick up your tools, and look inside you. Whatever you feel, whatever you hear, whatever you see or smell or touch or taste, turn it into something that others can look at. Know that your inner landscape is completely unique, and that the rest of the world is waiting for you to show us what it is like inside your mind and heart.

Don’t be afraid. There is no need to worry whether it’s good or bad or if you’re doing it the wrong way. There is no wrong way. If you feel that it is right, then it is.

Who’s with me?

How’s Your Shift Coming Along? (A dialogue between me and myself, posted by I.)

Me: How’s your shift coming along?

Myself: Very well, thank you.  And how is yours?

Me: Oh, mine is just great!  Thank you for asking!  I’ve been wanting to tell someone.  So many new things are happening.  It all seems to be happening at once, too.  Quite discombobulating at times, but to be expected, I guess…given the energies now.

Myself: That’s for sure! I hardly know what I’m doing from one minute to the next!

Me: Yeah, I know! So let me tell you what happened just today. I was working on my book, and—

Myself: Still working on the same book?

Me: Well, it takes time, you know, to figure all these things out. Memoirs. Know Thyself and all that.  Doesn’t happen over night you know.

Myself: But didn’t you start it back in ’97? That’s the last century. You’ve been working on it since the last century!

Me: Don’t remind me.  But here’s the thing. This is what I wanted to tell you that just happened today. Because when I first started recalling and remembering events, it was very painful you know. I had to relive all that stuff in order to write about it.  Go back there. It was like going back into a dungeon. Remembering how it was before there was light. Before I saw where it was all leading to.  It was like time-traveling.  It was really bad for a few years there. Feeling all my sadness again.

Myself: But you got through it.

Me: Sure, I got through it. And you know, when I finally thought it was finished back in 2007 I think it was…I felt like I had been on the dark side of the moon.

Myself: But you emerged.

Me: Yes. I came out of it. But I was changed. You know? Because we forget the feelings. We remember events, but we forget the feelings.

Myself: I think that’s called a survival mechanism.

Me: Well, you know what they tell writers. Sit down and open a vein.

Myself: Geesh!

Me: I didn’t know how to do it at first. My advisor at Goddard said I was like a tourist in my own life, riding by on a bus, looking at it from a distance. He told me to get off the bus. I always like to do everything fast you know. I paint fast. And now I was writing too fast. I had to slow down. Relive it all inch by inch.

Myself: Ouch. So, what were you saying happened today?

Me: I felt the love come back! I was working on the revisions. It’s coming along really well. And then I got up to take a break, and that’s when I realized what was happening. I felt this surge of love for all the characters. For my character, too!  It’s the way it goes though, I guess. First you have to go back and feel how it hurt.

Myself: Opening yourself up to the hurt.

Me: Yes. Opening. Feeling. Then creating out of that feeling.

Myself: Until you get to the other side?

Me: Going over to the dark side of the moon. Then coming back into the light.

Myself: Well, the moon has phases.

Me: It’s so hard to see, when you’re there, that you’ll ever get through it. Ever be able to forget again, all that sadness.

Myself: So what happened then? Did you forget it?

Me: No, silly. I remembered it. But it was through the remembering that I transformed it. I think that’s what must have happened.

Myself: Sounds kinda airy-fairy.

Me: It’s hard to explain. It took a lot of time, see? Piecing things together. Seeing the big picture. But first I had to live through all those moments again.

Myself: So you said.

Me: I had to dig up a lot of old ground, see? Uncover the wounds again. Feel the hurt, again.

Myself: Better you than me.

Me: Yes, but you know what I kept telling myself? I kept telling myself to remember the light. Remember where the light was. I wasn’t thinking of inner light. I was thinking of lamp light. Winter light. Summer light. How the light changes. But mainly where the light was in the room. Whatever room a scene I was writing about took place. Because somewhere it’s still there, you know. Those scenes are still there in my mind. It’s like nothing ever disappears. The memories are still there. The light is still there, and the darkness too. But the darkness doesn’t scare me anymore. I’m not afraid of it. Because the love has come back. It may not be in the lines, but it’s there. Maybe between them. And maybe no one else will see what I’m seeing, or feel what I’m feeling, but it’s there. It’s there for me. The love has come back.

Myself: Hmmm….

Me: It’s true! And I knew it! I knew it last fall when the Little Man (click on it to see who he is) came back. I was so excited opening the box. I took all these pictures of opening the box and unwrapping him. I thought I’d do another series of paintings of Little Man. But then I didn’t. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t doing those paintings.

Myself: Maybe you didn’t have to. Maybe it wasn’t important.

Me: I know, I know. But he was a symbol. The funny thing is, I remember when Love left me. And it wasn’t even in this life time. It was long ago. Or, maybe it was just a dream. But I died. I think I died when Love left me.

Myself: Inside, or out?

Me: Does it matter?

Myself: Right.

Me: But he came back.

Myself: Yes.

Me: And you know what I just thought? What if he never left at all, and I only thought he did?

Myself: Hmmm…..

The idea of Waiting for the light, vs Being the Light brings up profound spiritual and philosophical thoughts.  I am not going there.  For without realizing it, I have said all I need to say in a couple of paintings.  At least for me, these paintings say it all.

The first painting was done towards the end of the summer, 2008, shortly after I completed the series of Little Man paintings.  It had been an emotional time, completely absorbing my energy and attention, so that when I was finished painting the Little Man — and after fourteen canvases I knew I was finished — I had to quickly move on.  Paint something else.  Something entirely different.  A subject where I could just be the observer, and not have it pull so hard on my heart strings.  Fruit!  Fruit seemed the perfect solution.  It was summertime, fruit was plentiful and it was cheap.  I could afford to let peaches rot while I got them on canvas.

Peaches, then pears, in a basket on  a cloth.  Simple, undemanding, rewarding to look at, at the end of the day.  Then came the plums.  Dark purplish red plums on a red cloth like little balls rolling around, randomly stopping in place amid the folds of the red cloth.  But I had to put another object into the mix.  The peaches had their container of cream, the pears were posed with a glass of wine.  I don’t remember thinking about it too much or searching around before settling on a couple of pewter candlesticks to go with the plums.  They had been my mother’s candlesticks, and part of my childhood.  Their upright vertical nature would nicely complement the roundness of the plums.

A dish of strawberries was next, then a plate of more plums, and suddenly I was tired of painting fruit.  I had been thinking oranges and grapefruit, but then I lost the urge.  A week went by, then another week, and the unused paint I had saved on my palette was now dried and hard.  Sometime during that fall I gave away my easel.  Every time I think I am done with painting, I give away my easel.  I always save my brushes; they are easy to store.   But over the years I had either given away or sold several large wooden easels and my taboret.  The easel I gave away now was my oldest easel, my very first easel, bought thirty years ago and made of aluminum.  I was tired of that easel, and put it out on the street where it was snapped up almost immediately.

Then came winter, and I wanted to paint again.  Not fruit, something else.  So another easel had to be purchased and assembled.  About fourteen months had passed after painting the plums with candlesticks, and now it was back on the easel, a small canvas, 11×14 inches.  I don’t usually repaint pictures.  Whether I end up liking them or not, I usually leave them alone, a representation of where I was at the time.  But for some reason I felt the plums on their cloth needed a bit of livening up.  Suddenly they seemed too dull, too dark.  I brought more light in.   I broke up some of the deadness of the red cloth by adding dabs of blue.  I was no longer bothered by whether it was true to life or not.  Those particular plums I had placed so carefully for my still life were now long gone.  All I had left was the picture.  And now it was a brighter picture.  I was pleased, and hung it back up on the wall.

And now the holidays were coming, and a holiday card needed to be made.  I knew right away that I would paint a lit candle, and that it would be from my imagination.  This is a photo of the watercolor I made, with the words Light and Love 2010 scribbled in at the bottom.

It wasn’t until weeks later that I happened to put two and two together, the empty candlesticks in the one painting, the bright flaming light in the other.  And no candlestick, either.  Just the candle, made up, created out of nothing more than my mind, made visible through strokes of a brush.

The dates of these three paintings have given me pause to think.  For I soon realized that I had painted the first plums right before joining the Gold Ring, a Wet Paint wiki like no other, for it is a true community of dedicated souls supporting and acknowledging one another, reaching out, sharing light and love. See my profile HERE.

I painted those empty candlesticks during a time I felt bereft. Empty. Looking for something. Looking for something or someone to fill me.  The plums were there.  Those ripe juicy plums, rolling about, looking plummy, but there was no light.  Not even the possibility of light since there were no candles, just empty candle holders.

I had to find my own light.  And then paint it.  The light within.  The light that never goes out, once you have seen it, felt its heat and  marveled at its beauty.

As a keeper of journals, which used to be called diaries, which is sort of like being a keeper of the flame of my soul’s development – (what else can I call those outpourings of uncensored emotional effluvia) – I am used to going back over the recent past.  I need to do this.  I may not be able to see what is ahead, but it helps to see where I’ve been.

Seeing where I’ve been, going over the feelings and reviewing them, helps to keep things straight in my mind.  Because the mind is not straight.  Did you ever see a picture of a brain with a single straight line in it?  No way!  All the lines are curvy.  Weaving around each other like the proverbial cauliflower the physical brain is always compared to.

I heard an art instructor say once that there is no such thing as a straight line in Nature.  Not one!  No, it is mankind who came up with the straight line.  We need them for our man-made structures of buildings / bridges / roadways, etc.  And we need straight lines for making sense of our world.  We need those “right angles” — so aptly named!

I like looking back, no matter that I completely and totally love living in the NOW.  But as we continue on our (exciting and thrillingly wonderful) journey of becoming multi-dimensional beings, our NOW  moments are more complex than ever.  The question – where am I now? – is deceptively simple.  And yet, if we want to remain in touch and connected to our present, it seems a sensible idea to keep track of where we’ve just been.  At least for me.  Because sometimes I feel like I’m going so fast I can hardly keep up with myself.  Which is why I keep a filofax daily planner handy at all times, writing down things to do on which days, etc., and seeing my week in palatable installments lest it all becomes a blurry mess and sends me off on overload.  As soon as I’ve written something down, it’s there, almost as if it was already done!

Am I digressing? Perhaps not.  My topic is really keeping track, lest it all goes by in a whoosh! Because it can seem that way, as we all know.  I’m so used to hearing people say how time has speeded up I hardly notice how odd that sounds compared to the way things used to be.  Russell Baker described it beautifully in his memoir Growing Up, those endlessly long summer days of his boyhood in the 1930s when there was nothing to do but watch the corn grow.

But back to the present.  At the end of last year Anton and I did Looking Back In Order To Go Forward on our show.  We wanted to take stock of what we had done, the better to see what we would like to do next.  In one of our private talks together, we spoke of not having so many guests on, and talking more about our own work, our own perceptions of the shift and how it impacted our work.  Well, that all kind of went by-the-by when I became more active on Twitter and kept coming across all these amazing people whose work was right up our alley.  And not only Twitter but Face Book as well.

Because in this new openness I am feeling, I plunged into a fascinating discussion I came across by “chance” and met some more remarkable people.  That these were all women says something, of course.  What it doesn’t say, however, is that there are not also fascinating and remarkable men to have on as guests…!  It is just these women who have sparked my attention for now, and when we have them on you will see why.

Meanwhile, next week, January 26^th, is our fourth R.Y.S.A. day – Read Your Stories Aloud day.  Stories of spiritual awakening, that is.  So far I have one woman who has already recorded her story in advance and two women planning to call in and read theirs live.  Two men have expressed an interest and I am waiting to hear back.  The next opportunity to read aloud will be the last Tuesday in February, so if you have a story or have been thinking of writing one, we look forward to hearing from you!  Poems too.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be prose as long as it’s about your awakening.

The first Tuesday in February, the 2^nd, our guest will be Marta Luzim, a writer, an artist, and an amazing therapist who does Primal Healing.  Then we will have a writer, teacher, public speaker and former dancer, Mylene Dressler on for the 9^th of Feb.  Also on with her or perhaps not until the following week we will be meeting Gabriela Masala of OneLove Alliance.  All the details and information will be posted here.  Then it will be time for another R.Y.S.A. day.

And as for the recapping, our first show of January, perhaps due to a mixture of both excitement and fear, rattled me completely when I lost my internet connection for what may have been 30 minutes.  I was still connected to the show via my telephone, but I lost my cohost, Anton, and I couldn’t see the switchboard let alone the chat room.  It was like whistling in the dark.  I have since had the cable guy over to give us a brand new modem and to be on the safe side, some brand new wires as well. I also took the much needed step of adding more memory to my laptop.  Still, you never know what’s around the corner, and that goes for blog talk radio too.

Anyway, on that first show this month I tried to read from Daniel Pink’s book, “A Whole New Mind; Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future,” and from Karen Bishop’s, “Stepping Into a New Reality.”  I unfortunately managed to lose most of the postings of previous shows on our website, but information as well as links to those shows can be found on our Gold Ring page   HERE where we are known as Nanineko and Antonx.

The week after, Anton allowed us into the mind of Bigme, and then we had on author and channeler Jill Mara, who also did a channeling for us on the show and took questions.

And that, so far, brings us straight down the curvy line—to this NOW moment.

Great Articles and Links

1 – Rapid Ascension Movement – Are you suffering from R.A.M.? — You are not alone –

by Deidre Madsen

“Are you feeling sad, confused, experiencing unexplained body aches and pains, disorientation, loss of time, loss of memory, sudden career or relationship changes, more alienated than ever from the world, excessively lethargic, lost, heightened sensitivities to foods, medicines, or supplements, surges of unexplained emotion, unusual dreams, lashing out, bouts of depression getting worse, alternate realities, feeling like you are in several (or more than one) place(s) at once?
If so, you are not alone. If so, you are most likely experiencing DNA shifts as we (all of creation) move into a higher consciousness both physically and psychologically.”

Read Article HERE

2- Be a part of the inner revolution that is taking place
From – The Ascension Times
IN the surface of our world right now
There is war, violence, and craziness
And things may seem dark.
But calmly and quietly
At the same time
Something is happening underground.
An inner revolution is taking place
And certain individuals
Are being called to a higher light.
It is a silent revolution
From the inside out, from the ground up.
This is a global co-operation
That has sleeper cells in every nation.
It is a planetary Spiritual Conspiracy.
You won’t likely see us on TV
You won’t read about us in the newspaper.
You won’t hear from us on the radio. We don’t seek glory.
We don’t wear any uniform.
We come in all shapes and sizes, colours and styles.
We are in every country and culture of the world
In cities big and small, mountains and valleys
In farms and villages, tribes and remote islands.
Most of us work anonymously, seeking not recognition of name but
profound transformation of life, working quietly behind the scenes.
You could pass by one of us on the street and not even notice.
We go undercover, not concerned for who takes the final credit
But simply that the work gets done.
Many of us may seem to have normal jobs but behind the external storefront
is where the deeper work takes place
With the individual and collective power of our minds and hearts,
we spread passion, knowledge, and joy to all.
Some call us the Conscious Army as together we co-create a new world.
Our orders come from the Spiritual Intelligence Agency
Instructing us to drop soft, secret love bombs when no one is looking.
We each express ourselves
In our own unique ways
With our own unique gifts and talents
“Be the change you want to see in the world”
- that is the motto that fills our hearts.
We know this is the path to profound transformation
We know that quietly and humbly
Individually and collectively
We have the power of all the oceans combined.
At first glance our work is not even visible.
It is slow and meticulous
Like the formation of mountains.
And yet with our combined efforts
Entire tectonic plates
Are being shaped and moved for centuries to come.
Love is the religion we come to share and you don’t need to be highly educated,
or have exceptional knowledge to understand it.
Love arises from the intelligence of the heart,
embedded in the timeless evolutionary pulse
Of all living beings.
Be the change you want to see in the world
Nobody else can do it for you.
Yet don’t forget, we are all here supporting you.
We are now recruiting.
Perhaps you will join us
Or already have.
For in this spiritual conspiracy
All are welcome, and all are loved.
The door is always open.
- Anon.

Watch this video on You Tube

Ascension – Time is on your side

Why would we want to get ourselves “out of the way,” and what does that mean, exactly?

Well as I understand it, we want to get ourselves out of the way when we’re in our own way, in a negative sense.  For me it manifests as some kind of blockage against doing something – painting or writing – that I want to do, but am somehow unable to get started. Or maybe I’ve already begun a project, and now I can’t seem to finish it.

When I’m in my own way, there is usually some kind of conflict going on.  Like I’m torn between wanting to do it, and feeling like I can’t.  So there is fear.  I think fear is behind everything that prevents us from going forward.

And why am I afraid?  Because I’m in my head of course!  Because I’m thinking instead of doing.  And in my thinking, I can get into all sorts of negatives like, it won’t be any good so why bother….  And more of that ilk.  That silly ilk!

Which is why I chose this watercolor of mine to illustrate the point.  Off with her head!

Anyway, I decided to make a list of things I’ve done in the past that have helped me to get out of my own way.  Things that have helped me to forget self.

1-     Fall In Love – This is always a wonderful idea!  It doesn’t even have to be a person. It can be a writer of books or of poems.  It can be a painter….  A piece of music, a composer, a sculpture, a place, a sound, a culinary dish.  An historical figure.  The possibilities are endless.  And what does “falling in love” really mean?  In relationships, it usually means falling into infatuation, as that is a first stage with most of us.  And to be infatuated means you have a strong feeling for, a desire for, a resonance with, a compatibility.  Which means you are thinking and identifying with this other thing or person that is not you….  So it takes the focus off of you and puts it somewhere else, with another.  And for those moments when you are focused on something or someone else, you are completely unconcerned with yourself.  You have got yourself out of the way.  You are in your heart, not your head. (For me, love makes me lose my head entirely! But that’s a subject for another day….)

2-     Visit a Museum – For there you will find all sorts of things to feel enraptured with.  If you give yourself over to the experience you will find your heart beating in syncopation with those who have created those works of art.  As your eyes follow the lines of a sculpture, or an object behind glass, or the lines of a painting or drawing, you will gravitate up towards the frequencies of that piece.  And it is the frequencies, really, the vibrations of something else outside of us, something we find a correspondence with, that can lift and raise us to a higher level.  Because we are responding to the feeling it gives us.  (Please leave your critical mind at home!)

3-     Read a work of literature – Becoming involved in the thoughts of other characters or the thoughts of the author, is another way to take us outside of ourselves.  And while we are outside, we are more than out of the way of ourselves; we have the definite possibility of being transported.  (But we have to feel the piece, become involved. Not stand outside of it judging.)

4-     Take a life-drawing class.  Even if you just borrow a book from the library and follow the directions for drawing something in your environment, you will be taking the focus off of you, and putting your creative mind to work.  My first life-drawing class was a revelation.  The beauty of the human form!  No matter what the size or shape or age… and the vulnerability of the model. It was overwhelming. I was hooked….

5-     Dance! I just watched the delightful and moving Japanese film, Shall We Dance, which was somehow far more moving than the American version made from it with Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez – though I did enjoy the latter.  Perhaps because I’ve seen Richard Gere break loose in films before, so it didn’t have that much of an impact.  It’s like I knew he was acting.  The restrained Japanese man in the movie was acting too of course, but he was unfamiliar to me so I could totally believe him. And to see him suddenly come to life when he took up ballroom dancing –was wonderful!  And then you saw all the couples dancing in the last shot, and they were all together and in unison – a clear and obvious metaphor for the dance of life… (In their bodies, not their heads!)

6-     Sing!

7-     Write!

8-     Play some music!

9-     Listen to some music!

10-  Bake a pie!

Well, clearly all these things are about taking an action.  Doing something beyond yourself.  Or creating something new that wasn’t there before.  The list could go on and on.  But what we’re really talking about here is letting go of ego, of what others’ might be thinking of us, and entering into that divine state of playing.

Not long after I first got into painting when I was in my early 30s, I asked to be a vessel.  I asked for the energy to flow through me so that I could translate it onto the canvas.  I don’t know when I’ve ever been as clear as that as far as getting myself out of the way and allowing myself to be used. I didn’t think of myself as channeling, or anything like that, just wonderfully willing to be used. There!  That word again!

Use me! I pleaded.

And golly gee-whiz… it worked.

Today feels like a special day. I feel as though i have been initiated into something higher and more profound in my life. As though i have acquired the necessary experience to move up to the next level. I have been writing a lot (thank you Bigme) and have drawn some very interesting conclusions from what i have written.  Since tuesday’s show is going to be about Bigme, and getting to a point in life where this higher, expanded “personality” can be collaborated with, i thought i would just share some of my recent insights. Sort of like a primer for the show, so we can all start on the same page. or at least be reading the same book.

We are all, or at least we all hope to be, manifesting our destiny based on what we would like to experience, and how we would like to get there. As useful as it is for us to keep a focus on the things we desire so that we can move towards them, it is sometimes difficult to get to this place of knowing. Things wuld be much easier if we had the spark of inspiration to inspire us to further inspiration. We can sit and make lists of things we are waiting for, but if we are none the wiser about what it is we are looking for, we are essentially giving up our creative energy for the universe to do with as it will.

I have been recruited (by myself) to initiate something which i have termed “Minimani” or “Mini Manifestation” (I prefer the word Minimani. It sounds fun, and that is what this is all about.) It is essentially a range of techniques and methods to kick start you into moving into what it is you want. They say that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Well, consider Minimani as tying you shoelaces and putting on your coat before you set off.

I watched a very interesting video by an artist called Val on youtube. Here it is:

Val’s Art Diary – What turns me on

In the video she talks about her inspirations. Music being the major one. Music inspires her to creative endeavour, and so as a way to pre-heat the oven of creativity, she paints a triptych of musical instruments. To me it seems like such a simple idea. To create a work of art that inspires you to create works of art. To write a song that makes you want to write songs. To take a photograph that inspires you keep taking photographs.

This is the essence of Minimani.

Some of you may know that my path to get to where i am now has been a long and byzantine one, meandering through various occult ideologies and traditions. (Occult is not a word to be scared of by the way. It simply means hidden or secret. It has been attached to all kinds of dubious works and “evil” superstitions. But it is not the word itself that is the problem. It is what the word has been attached to that creates doubt and worry. Do not worry, we are not going anywhere dark or disturbing.) Whilst on my travels i have been privy to “magical” rituals and beliefs, some of which are just plain useless, some of which are exciting and potentially useful to me as an artist.

Take for example, our knowledge of “The law of attraction” and manifestation. It is a relatively recently documented phenomenon. Before the advent of Quantum Physics (from where Law of Attraction seems to take a lot of it’s inspiration) there was magick. Rather than simply focusing your intent and asking for things, as we have become used to doing now, it was common to set up a ritual, an invocation, a spellcasting or any one of a number of other techniques. Within this school of thought, there are many different variations and versions. But they are all nonetheless equally as valid as the law of attraction paradigm. They just take longer that’s all. The law of attraction material could be considered to be magic for the layman. People who are not familiar with the lore and nomenclature of the mystical teachings of the craft can use the law of attraction teachings, which are the pure essence of Magic, with all pomp and ceremony removed.

In Val’s case, she has created a piece of work that “attracts” other art work. She has created her own fountain of inspiration. This is all that Magic is. It is a process of stepping up to create your own opportunities. It is the equivalent of asking the Angels for a sign to direct you towards the next step. Just that in this case, you are taking the initiative to create a direct line of communication to the universe, rather than asking angels to do the job for you.

This is the work i have been given to make progress with. To create a direct connection for myself to higher self, and to show others how to get there if they wish to do the same. It is not “evil” or anything close. It is simply a step towards creating the path you are walking, and then walking it.

There are countless thousands of ways of doing this. All energy work was considered to be the realm of Mages and Mage-esses. (It is where the word Majesty was derived from, incidentally)

On tuesday i will share one method i have been given to create opportunity and inspiration in your life. It is no more “dubious” than envisioning energy travelling through your body during a visualisation, or calling upon your higher self to offer guidance. In fact it is useful as a method of real-ising where you true power lies, that it is within you at all times.

Bigme is very much looking forward to having a show to himself. I hope that you will join us for what promises to be a very exciting experiment.

Much love to you all

Antonx

Firstly, to all of you reading this, and those around you who don’t, i wish you all a happy and abundant new year. The last 12 months have been a period of change and upheaval, in order that things can settle into forms and structures that will make the coming times a little easier to handle. We are facing one of the most exciting and positive times in recent history, and 2009 was sort of like a tutorial level of how things are going to go.

The next twelve months will be fun and exciting, i have no doubt. I cannot wait to see what they will bring. To those of you with whom i will share some of this time, i am greatly anticipating it, and waiting patiently to see where we are heading.

The energies are shifting insuch a way that there will be a mass awakening of many people. Those who have been teetering on the edge will be transformed completely before the year is out, and those who are still not ready to leave the old energy behind will find the help and assistance they will need to get through whatever they must. Above all bear in mind that whatever this coming year may bring, it is for your greatest benefit. There is no need to worry or be frightened.

Those who have been scared to open themselves up for fear of failure or ridicule will find that what they have believed all along becomes generally accepted and understood as “the truth”. Scary things don’t seem quite so scary when we face them together and face them we will. With smiles and joy on our faces and in our hearts.

Creativity will blossom and there will be a mass outbreak of sanity and compassion. This will seem weird for a while, but don’t worry. This, like all things, is just a transition. 2010 will be the year of the artist and the writer, the sculptor and the painter, the journey(wo)man and the shaman. The introspective period is coming to and end, now is the time for us to put forth the lessons we have been learning in whatever form we can. Those who can, will build models of the inner and outer universe so profound that we will seem to evolve in a matter of weeks, dropping the old and disabling energy of the past and building our own structures and frames, with which we ca create the world we want to be a part of. No longer will we be required to toe the line or play by someone elses rules. This is the year when the only rules we will have to follow are the ones we agree upon together. No longer will we sweat for the profit and sole benefit of others. It truly is the beginning of the era of co-creation.

2010 is the year that we will look back on as a great turning point for the entire planet. It is the year when conscious co-creation will become commonplace, and people will spend their energy building the world(s) they wish to live in. We will learn how to tune ourselves in to the divine within us all and follow the joy that we feel every day. It will be the only possible way to live as we move forward.

Make a wish right now. Wish for something you have been told is unattainable, something you have dreamed of but never felt the courage to follow up on. This is the year that we learn how to make our dreams into real-ity.

I wish you love, light and happiness this year, and the years to come. May you walk in peace with the souls you choose to accompany you, and may all your experiences bring you closer to your true, infinite self.

Peace, LOVE and Abundance to you my friends.

Antonx