because we're always creating the next level

July 11, 2010

Have you ever come upon a piece of music that you’ve wanted to listen to over and over? That you can’t seem to get enough of? A song or instrumental music that is exactly what you’ve been longing to hear? I mean, has this happened to you since you were a teenager???

Because it just happened to me again. About a week ago I was following links to you tube from my Face Book friends (which I’m so grateful for!), and balancing out frightening depressing scenes from the Gulf accompanied by ominous voice-overs predicting worse case scenarios—balancing this with watching beautiful uplifting peaceful pictures and words about love and higher awareness and unity and angels and so on… (Balance is key, now more than ever!)  And I came upon a lovely song. I don’t remember what video it was, what the images were. I just knew I had to download the music to play on my radio show. I was doing a bunch of them that day—all excellent and memorable and perfect for artists and ascension radio, but none of them pierced through so many layers of skin and muscle to resonate in my bones as this one did.

It’s called Sensing the Spheres by Enigma. I just now went back to you tube to try and find the video that I first saw, but none of them looked familiar. It was really the music, not the pictures, that got to me anyway. Please have a listen below if you like!

So, I downloaded it, and then uploaded it to the switchboard on blog talk radio. I made it the start-up audio. The beginning sounded to me like some kind of ancient call. It seemed perfect to start the show with, this kind of calling the listeners in. Then, when the show began and I heard the music through the blog talk system, it didn’t sound loud enough. In fact it didn’t sound impressive at all. I wondered why I had chosen it?

Oh well. Last week’s show was… let’s just say I wasn’t at all in the mood to do it. It was 100 degrees in New York and I don’t have A/C. Last year my co-host and I took the month of August off; I thought I would just take off July as well as August this year. It was just too hot!

But it was more than that too. Since the middle of spring I have felt in between things, unsettled. No doubt part of it was due to the Gulf situation. And then there was my son graduating high school and realizing his going away to college at the end of August meant an enormous change to the rhythm I have been accustomed to for so many years. There was also my acute awareness of the Shift occurring on so many levels. Just now I had a look in my journal, mostly neglected of late, to see if I had written anything recently. I had. On the Solstice I recorded a dream in which I forgot where I lived. I was on my way “home” to an apartment I lived in 30 years ago. I realized this while I was still in the dream and became very upset not to know where I lived in “the present.” What a relief to wake up and find myself home in Brooklyn! I immediately felt the need to get outside, out onto the streets with people and connect with where I was now. So I went for a walk and bought some groceries. I needed that grounding. I needed to get my bearings!

Anyway, it’s been an unsettled time. And in this time of shifting, of finding my bearings, and of saying good-bye to an old way of life as I prepare mentally and emotionally for the new, the radio show had begun to feel burdensome. I was unsure where I wanted to go with it. What my message was. I thought to give myself a break from it, get my bearings on that as well. Meanwhile, before the show began I took my laptop and headphones and notes into another room. A bigger room. A room that felt at least a few degrees cooler from my usual place of operation as radio host.

On the dot of 5pm Sensing the Spheres began to play. I went to the chat room. No one was there but me. Good, I thought. No one will show up and I’ll be perfectly justified in taking a leave of absence for the rest of the summer. Then one person came in, then another and another. The first person wrote, “This sounds like a fun show.” The next person wrote, “It’s a blessing to be here.”  Yikes, I thought. I can’t possibly tell them I’m bowing out for a few months. And then a very interesting thing happened. Perhaps it was partly due to my being in a different room than usual, the living room / dining room instead of my little bedroom / office. It had a different energy. I felt myself talking louder in this larger room. But I also felt braver. I think because I had let go of wanting to get it right. The show that is.

Wanting to be good is such a natural impulse, but it can also be a drawback in that it stops you from being completely yourself. It’s like when you’re on a date and you want the person to like you. Or interviewing for a job. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always gotten the jobs I didn’t care whether I got or not! And dates, well, same difference. Divine Nonchalance. Non-attachment. Letting go of results. The list goes on. I went from dreading the show to loving it—in about two seconds flat. Afterwards, I was energized and already planning the next show.

Now here’s where we get back to the music. It was a few days later when I thought of synching some of the new music I had downloaded for the show to my mp3 player. That was when I started listening again to Sensing the Spheres. I have my player permanently on the looping setting because I mostly listen to headphones only when I’m at the gym, and I like to hear the same piece for half an hour. When I’m painting I listen to music all the time. But I haven’t been painting for quite some time. I forget how wonderful music makes me feel in general. I forget…

Then one day I find something new, something I haven’t heard before, and I can’t stop listening. What I love so much about Sensing the Spheres is what I said about how it sounds like a call in the beginning, and then it goes on into this very pleasant non-specific melodic rhythm that just keeps you moving. Or gives you a feeling of movement, like you’re going somewhere. Like you’re on your way. And that’s the beauty of it. Not necessarily getting anywhere or arriving, just moving along.

I went outside to do my errands and wore my headphones, something I haven’t done in ages. What a difference it made! The god-awful heat, the dreadful humidity—didn’t affect me at all! I was in a different mode. I suddenly realized I was not only going to get through this summer in one piece, but actually enjoy myself. And all because I had found some lovely new sound.

But it’s more than that really. It’s about resonance. Finding or locating what you resonate with, isn’t that what fish do? That sounding thing they do under water? I don’t know much about it and I don’t want to look it up right now. It’s obviously something basic, something natural, to humans as well as to other beings—plants too. We know that now. And I know that I have shifted into a different place. It’s ongoing, not necessarily permanent. But I have found what works – for me – a sound, a vibration I resonate with, that is allowing me not only to feel more comfortable with what is going on around me, but is allowing me to enjoy being in the movement. Being in the moment in the movement… Just being, really.

And it’s about finding your balance during these changing times, these often discordant times. Finding your flow, staying in the flow, staying centered and balanced. We know that if we feel stuck, what we need to do is take an action. And often that activity will be smoother if we’re listening to music. Because life is all about movement and rhythm and flow. From the first breath to the last.

Do you have a piece of music that does it for you? Do your tastes change every few months? What is it like for you?

We are living through such an amazing time of change. We’ve experienced the Solstice and then the partial lunar eclipse and now, today, the 11^th of July, another solar eclipse. We hear there is more to come. More openings, more energies coming in, more resonance. At this moment, all I am listening to is the hum of the fan and the bird chirping outside my window. It is enough.

© Nancy Wait 2010

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